Thursday, June 10, 2010

Conjecturing on Saturn...

Zodiac Secret No. 4

Avoid the Shadows of Saturn
A shadow is created when an object stands between you and the light. Another person can stand as a shadow in your life, block out your spirit, and prevent you from getting what you want. Here's how you can recognize such a person.

Once you print out the chart, look for the position of his Saturn. If his Saturn is found in the sign of Scorpio, you have a problem. This will not be a zodiac love match.
Why?
Remember, that just for the sake of this exercise, we decided that you had your Sun in Scorpio. This man's Saturn is in the same sign as your Sun. This is the problem. You will feel like this man is a shadow hanging over your spirit. You will always feel dark and heavy around him. This would be quite depressing. Why?
Because Saturn is a restrictive and inhibiting force. It represents the basic fear in all of us -- what we don't want to look at --- what we avoid and suppress. This is because Saturn is ofen called a planet of karma because it represents fears that we need to confront and eventually resolve in understanding.
The light of your Sun in Scorpio, your ego and individual spirit, shines upon what the Saturn man does not want to look at. Therefore, he will try to suppress and criticize you . He does not want you to do what you like to do. You like expressing your deep emotional intensity and sexuality with your lover and he is afraid of real intimacy. He has a need to control you and suppress your need for intense emotional connections with others because of his deep fear of exposure, which is very necessary for true intimacy.
In short, you will not be able to be free with him. You cannot be who you are with him. He will not be able to share in this need of yours. In fact, he will criticize you for it because it arouses his own fear.
The lesson that you must learn from this secret is:
"Make sure his Saturn is not in the same sign as your Sun and that your Saturn is not in the same sign as his Sun."

http://www.skysage.com/zodiacsecrets.html

Oddly enough, the "heaviness" described above perfectly explains how I felt about most of the major relationships I've had.  Most recently, I met someone I became suddenly very attached too and immediately had this rush of dread which I couldn't explain in any other way than simply I'd felt it before and I could lay out the progression of my entire future relationship with this person after having spent 3 days with him.

I decided to see how many of those relationships shadowed my Scorpio Sun with an opposing Scorpio Saturn. The results were very interesting...

Charts of the 3 most significant others/important/influential relationships I've had in my 28.5 years. Note the Saturn placements:

Birth summary for Lexi :
Planet Deg Sign Min
Sun   19º   Scorpio   53'  
Moon   26º   Taurus   01'  
Mercury   4º   Scorpio   08'  
Venus   6º   Capricorn   58'  
Mars   12º   Virgo   41'  
Jupiter   27º   Libra   01'  
Saturn   17º   Libra   15'  
Uranus   29º   Scorpio   45'  
Neptune   23º   Sagittarius   21'  
Pluto   25º   Libra   17'  
Ascendant   6º   Libra   30'  
Midheaven   7º   Cancer   09'  



This is my INT/FJ who has had me torn up for 6 months now. Like many past others, we have a cyclical relationship where I can't imagine finding someone I could love anymore (thus I am blinded to all others), he "NEEDS" me as a friend (i.e. needs me on a string) and guilt trips and criticizes me for things I know to be true for myself. Like all good Libras, he thinks things to be "objectively true" or false while I KNOW that there is nothing "objectively true" in the world. Best quote - "Prom Night is an objectively bad movie." If we agree, the objective truths are fine. If we disagree, such as in the case of emotions and relationships, it's very not fine. Check out his Saturn placement! And then, if you dare, check out my Saturn placement again.

Birth summary for Brian:

Planet Deg Sign Min
Sun   20º   Libra   55'  
Moon   2º   Aquarius   04'  
Mercury   9º   Libra   48'  
Venus   6º   Virgo   20'  
Mars   9º   Virgo   10'  
Jupiter   9º   Sagittarius   04'  
Saturn   5º   Scorpio   17'  
Uranus   6º   Sagittarius   37'  
Neptune   26º   Sagittarius   50'  
Pluto   29º   Libra   08'  
Ascendant   14º   Aquarius   57'  
Midheaven   2º   Sagittarius   51'  

Rather than describing my sporadic multi-year involvement with this one, who I loved possibly harder than I've loved anyone in my life but who was the most distant of all the important ones, and again who would not allow me the title of "girlfriend." Ever. I will just copy/paste an email to me from said lover for the nebula to devour:


< CHRIST, people have been breaking my balls lately. Here's the plan:  I
was writing this huge letter regarding myself and this alleged immaturity
that everyone sees, but instead I'm going to request that you CUT OUT THE
EMO QUEERSHIT and SHOVE IT UP YER ASS!

Okay, well, I guess I am selfish.  I at least know I'm self-centered, but I
don't trust anyone who isn't at least a little self-centered.  As for this
whole distance thing you needed back in the day, yeah I can see that as
immature and selfish.  However, you must understand I'm not used to being
the object of someone's affection-- EVER.  I'm ugly and awkward, so it was a
new experience, you must forgive me if I didn't handle it delicately.  At
the time I was amazed by your friendship and it was really helping me
through  bad times and bla bla bla.  You know, I woke up this morning and my
fucking eye was killing me.  It just hurts, like it's been scratched, and
nothing helps.  So I'm fucking pissed off and annoyed right now, I'm going
to get off here and go smoke, call it immature but I'm leaving this email
mostly unanswered because I can only type with one hand and I feel horrible.
TO sum things up, I don't care if I'm immature or not.  Ne ne ne ne.

-Jeff
 >>

Birth summary for Jeff :
Planet     Deg     Sign     Min
Sun       21º       Capricorn       57'
Mercury  0º       Capricorn       35'
Venus       8º       Pisces       41'
Mars       13º       Pisces       41'  
Jupiter       24º       Capricorn       05'
Saturn       25º       Scorpio       44'
Uranus       15º       Sagittarius       59'
Neptune  1º       Capricorn       54'
Pluto       4º       Scorpio       34'

This was my longest boyfriend of 4-ish years full of interims where I unsuccessfully severed the relationship only to have him pull the "friend" guilt trip on me, a guise to keep me under his jealous watch, but more importantly to keep me from finding someone that could actually make me happy. The biggest, cruelest critic of my personality, life choices, aesthetics, sense of humor and every other facet of my being that defines me as an individual. Note, in this case, my Saturn placement and the fact that its the same as his. But additionally his own Saturn placement shadows him from seeing his Sun in the same time. He is a very self-defeatist person. He tends to take it out on others, but he quite often takes it out on himself too. Let me follow up that between this subtly abusive relationship of 4 years and the physically abusive whirlwind relationship that suddenly followed (even drove the last wedge into whatever thing we were trying to salvage between us after 4 years) it took me 4 years to feel like "myself" again, and it took 8 years apart to feel like the relationship was not still impeding my abilities to move forward with my life.

Birth summary for Greg :

Planet Deg Sign Min
Sun   23º   Libra   00'  
Moon   11º   Capricorn   45'  
Mercury   17º   Scorpio   18'  
Venus   13º   Virgo   05'  
Mars   2º   Sagittarius   50'  
Jupiter   27º   Virgo   45'  
Saturn   3º   Libra   02'  
Uranus   23º   Scorpio   54'  
Neptune   20º   Sagittarius   27'  
Pluto   21º   Libra   45'  
Ascendant   0º   Leo   28'  
Midheaven   16º   Aries   15'  

And just for fun, charts from some more notable blasts from my past:



This one was married and yes, it got ugly. And yes, I tried to avoid it before it happened and yes, I was ashamed the whole time. And yes, he lied to me among others. A lot. And yes it was A) virtually impossible to avoid because we worked together - every day, and often alone and B) virtually impossible because he was an Aries and didn't listen to a practical thing I said. I had to quit my job to end the unhealthy cycle here.

Birth summary for Jeromy :

Planet Deg Sign Min
Sun   2º   Aries   04'  
Moon   22º   Pisces   33'  
Mercury   4º   Pisces   19'  
Venus   16º   Aquarius   17'  
Mars   13º   Gemini   24'  
Jupiter   3º   Pisces   22'  
Saturn   28º   Gemini   17'  
Uranus   26º   Libra   44'  
Neptune   9º   Sagittarius   35'  
Pluto   5º   Libra   34'  
Ascendant   21º   Libra   38'  
Midheaven   27º   Cancer   02'  

Let's observe one that seemed pretty mutually stimulating emotionally and intellectually. Physically not too bad either. Practically, he had a kid and never moved out of his mom's house. Complacent and lazy, there was little I could do light a fire under this one. This was a case of me doing the same thing to him that was done to me by others - I wouldn't call him my boyfriend but we had a relationship. Mainly this was because he tried to date me and another girl at the onset of both of those relationships, both girls were hurt by this and though I forgave the injury eventually, I never trusted him and I was unwilling to commit to someone with so little ambition who had already made such a dramatic mark in the first week of to title or not to title... basically I was waiting for a justification and felt I deserved better anyway.

Birth Chart for Noah:
Planet Deg Sign Min
Sun   22º   Cancer   48'  
Moon   6º   Libra   45'  
Mercury   29º   Cancer   59'  
Venus   3º   Virgo   33'  
Mars   11º   Cancer   06'  
Jupiter   1º   Sagittarius   21'  
Saturn   27º   Libra   54'  
Uranus   5º   Sagittarius   26'  
Neptune   27º   Sagittarius   11'  
Pluto   26º   Libra   44'  
Ascendant   24º   Scorpio   34'  
Midheaven   6º   Virgo   06'  

This is the chart of the first actual "boyfriend" I had since Greg. That is to say, he was proud to introduce me to people as his "girlfriend," he possessed me, and made it clear to me and to others that we were together. However, we had little in common and note he is another self-defeater. Also, he is the kind who tries to bring down those he sees who are successful, and if he can't, he resents or dislikes them for their success. Note again the Saturn and Sun placement.

Birth summary for Nathaniel :

Planet Deg Sign Min
Sun   10º   Virgo   17'  
Moon   15º   Virgo   33'  
Mercury   22º   Leo   24'  
Venus   26º   Libra   16'  
Mars   18º   Libra   56'  
Jupiter   29º   Cancer   34'  
Saturn   4º   Virgo   48'  
Uranus   13º   Scorpio   08'  
Neptune   15º   Sagittarius   33'  
Pluto   15º   Libra   13'  
Ascendant   24º   Taurus   45'  
Midheaven   4º   Aquarius   22'  

This one again, good friend dynamic, plenty to talk about, philosophical minds compatible. Practical issues, like oh having a job, not wasting money borrowed from others on drugs, not living with his parents, and self-reliance in any capacity or other such things I value, not so hot. Musically inclined and a gentle, kind soul however. Again, note the Saturn placement.

Birth summary for Matt :

Planet Deg Sign Min
Sun   5º   Aquarius   39'  
Moon   27º   Pisces   56'  
Mercury   19º   Capricorn   43'  
Venus   22º   Pisces   38'  
Mars   23º   Pisces   55'  
Jupiter   27º   Capricorn   14'  
Saturn   26º   Scorpio   44'  
Uranus   16º   Sagittarius   39'  
Neptune   2º   Capricorn   22'  
Pluto   4º   Scorpio   43'  
Ascendant   12º   Aries   00'  
Midheaven   6º   Capricorn   48'  

2 comments:

  1. Glad I avoided the cut!

    :P

    (Though curiously, I was considering putting together a post very similar to this. Not certain if I can match the strength needed in sharing, however.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. A double Virgo with Taurus ascendant explains, at least if one is inclined to accept astrology as an authority, a very great deal about N.

    Someday, darling, someone who deserves you will find you. Until then I can only hope you don't break yourself against too many who almost-but-don't-quite fit.

    ReplyDelete