Sinus Pressure: A Haiku

From across the room
Your pheramones make me sneeze
That you might inside.

Trash Day: A Haiku

a roll and a half
of toilet paper I cried
because I'm alone

Drugs: A Haiku

Mom says I need them.
My brother says "Bootstraps, sis!"
But I've lost the way.

2010/2011 UofL Theatre Season Poster Designs

Here's what I've been working on in my Letterforms Directed Study. So far I've done the assignment with the rest of the class but now that I have made some fairly killer content, I'm going to animate it with After Effects.

The original assignment was a 4 piece poster series for the University of Louisville Theatre Season.  These posters promote each show specifically, but follow one design concept that advertises them in a series.

By keeping certain design elements throughout, such as the hand-drawn look, the palette, the theme of "hands" and the fonts, I traveled fluidly through the season within my design.

Finally, I wanted to create four pieces that After Effects could easily move through in real time with a "cemera." So I kept the movement of the gold lines and text in such a way that the design sort of continues from left to right through the season. When I finish the After Effects promo I will post the final result. That's the part I'm really still learning...

Drawing Again!

I did this freehand with my tablet in Photoshop. I think I'm getting better at drawing with the tablet and photoshop. Big props up to Rush and Jon Paul for showing me that drawing could be done beautifully and digitally at the same time. This drawing is for a poster design for Leslie's Letterforms class/my independent study. Eventually After Effects will come into play. But for now, I'm excited about my drawing. Woot!

Kloeshi's Dream I

Kloeshi sees Kosta in her dreams, coming down a hillside in summer. Her vision blurs. She is in the dream.

He comes singing to greet her. She contains her excitement. There is nothing else... no one else.

Think Like A Scorpio: Part I

Little Barks

Yesterday, I was "being pulled one way by my emotions and another by logic" according to tarot.com's horoscopes as the moon moved into my possessive emotional water sign of Scorpio and the sun hangs in protective, smothering, mothering Cancer. Today, I'm "trying to reinvent myself," led to change through "a vision" rather than "objective facts."

There is a part of me that is embarrassed of my behavior yesterday because it was uncharacteristically impulsive. However, it was characteristically passionate and visceral, and subjectively necessary. I didn't really want a reaction, I just wanted to react loudly and most of all, I wanted to boast my instinctual accuracy. 

However, I'm shady about the actual facts. Rather than admitting defeat in a game played with balls when all I was given was horseshoes, I'll just apologize for my impulsive accusatory indirectness. My logical brain doesn't know the facts.  I just felt an emotional hiccup. Sunday, he calls me after he finishes his day's activities and doesn't know why he's calling me. It feels comfortable I assume. He treats me like I am his own. But this is not new. It's not new that he's thinking about me in my absence. And it's been addressed. It's been thoroughly discussed. We have been at an impasse for a long time. I just gave up and lied flacidly out of control a few feet away. Perhaps this was part of the process. I thought I was the pet. The rescue, fighting her adopted family, certain that they would be like the last; I'm a small dog, and cautious and getting closed in by arms of an adopter who will accidentally crush my bones. It's not that I don't appreciate his zeal, it's just that I'm scared to death of him for my mortal safety. But who is the pet? Who's taming who? Now, if I should break the leash, he would come calling after me. For days, weeks, maybe months. I broke the leash before. I survived. And he quit calling me home after a bit. But he outwaited me. I got in range and he snagged me up again and took me home. I resisted a little, but exhausted from the stupid game, I lied there hoping he'd pet me.  For 6 hours he petted me and we played and talked about the future. But he said it was a 6 hour short circuit the next day. He didn't mean to pet me. And so he was simply sorry. But now I was back in the yard, fenced in, where we could happily coexist in close proximity, lest I disappear again. But I was tired, and I just lied down to rest.

And then suddenly we began pulling weight together. Working. Writing. Making. Equals. "Two footstools together make a staircase." he said. I glowed a little. And then he rolls over for me to pet him. Who is the pet? I wonder...  but he doesn't pet me. So who is the pet and who is the animal? For me they are the same. For him only one person is the animal, the other, the master. There is no petting. Yet he rolls over in my lap.

So I go on an adventure. I pull my leash as far as it can go and give it a tug to see if he notices I'm gone. He doesn't. So I tell him. I feel too guilty and disloyal not to. But he doesn't care what I do. I'm just an animal in the yard and if someone wants to pet me that's fine so long as it doesn't take me out of the yard.

The leash is invisible. Or I've fabricated the leash in my own mind. Or there is no snap to indicate the severing. Nothing. Wind. Air. Meaninglessness.  I like the foreigner whose home I've adventured to, but only because he pets me. Literally and physically, he pets me. He doesn't pull weight with me. We are not a staircase... he just... pets me. But I return with full confidence that I am lovable and adorable. I am your pet, and you must pet me if I roll over...

No...  I lie there with my belly in the air and he complains. I cry and leave with my tail between my legs... I don't know where my home is. He gets all Buddhist - home is an idea. Something the ego clings to. And to cling is to suffer. Perpetually. Forever.

I'm resolute. I'm a big dog. It doesn't matter. We have pulled weight together. We are a staircase. We have somewhere to climb to. We are equals.

We write... our minds drift to separate places... we are not equal. We are looking to separate suns. Why does he call me? Why does he think about me? Why am I part of his routine? Like a pet, I suppose, I just wag my tail. Such a small, insignificant thing. But I do it every day and I never grow tired of it. I laugh because he makes me happy. He laughs because I make him happy.  But I don't bark now. So he doesn't realize he has a pet.

But the hiccup occurs. Things don't add up. He interrupts our routine. He interrupts his routine. He takes time off work... and cleans? He's sleeping during his time off? I can believe that... but I ask, for who? With who? Do I have the right to know? I am not his pet, so no. I am just an animal, unbound, unleashed. But I barked 7 months ago because I would eventually show my teeth if he kept me as a pet and a stranger walked in. Little you? Little tail-wagging you? No. Never. He can't believe it.  So I bark, and he says hush. I break my leash and he finds me. So I just wag my tail, because well... at this point that's just what tails do. But there it is, a hiccup. A stranger. I smell her. I don't know who she is but the smell is so pungent and I feel so angry, the clues point me to a spectre from Cincinnati... he has mentioned her. Is my assessment accurate? I assume so. But I could be wrong, logically wrong. Either way, I am your pet because you keep me on a leash in the yard. I've smelled something that has a menacing odor. I trusted you. Not because it was logical or because you asked me to trust you, but because you made me your pet. You kept me as your pet.

So impulsively, I bark, loudly, viciously, jealously. Who is with my boy? What is she doing to him? But no, he's not my boy. He has no pets. He is just a man... I'm just a woman. And I'm fine when I wag my tail, but not so much, if I bark. I don't want to bark or show my teeth. I never did. And I told you I would a long time ago. I barked then, when I was still a woman. Now I'm your pet, and I don't understand when you don't come home at night. And I am terrified of losing what I never had. And I forecasted all of this 7 months ago.

So now he tells me he doesn't listen to me. He hears me but is not always present when I speak. 7 months later he decides he wants to understand me. So where did all my breadcrumbs disappear to? Who has he spent 7 months acquainting himself with? Who does he think I am? Who is this person he likes? She is not his pet, nor has ever been and she has known this, but wagged her tail anyway and barked, hoping against stupid hope to be seen or heard anyway. I sigh as I ask.. aren't tails meant to wag?

At this point, I feel, more so than I think, which I did long before my heart could catch up, that I'm barking up the wrong tree.  I'm a guard dog between the feet of he who I've sworn to protect, while we both scuttle about awkwardly trying to keep him from stepping on me. It's so impractical.  He'd rather a cat to claw him.

And what use is a tiny guard dog with a tiny little bark... menacing, right? I will no longer create needs for myself where there are none. I'm rather pointless here. And there's no leash anymore than there is someone at the other end of it.  The world is full of useless, treacherous adventures for little dogs with no where in particular to go. I'm itching with doctorate programs like fleas to find and conquer... there are too many things I could expend my useless energy scratching at.

The toy schnauzer above is Horatio. He was a rescue and is a very Good Dog.

Song For A Dead End (or a Rainbow)

He's a rainbow,
When he comes,
To me,
With a brainstorm in his eyes.
He's a rainbow,
When he comes.
And brings me a hundred new questions with all he implies...

He's a color,
Then another,
And he's there on every wavelength
In between.
He's a spectre,
On a spectrum,
He's the most peculiar science I've ever seen.

And I'll try not be faithless,
Though the sky's such a vague...
Thing sometimes;
No walls or lines.
Just sunset and rise.

He's a razor,
When I kiss him,
And sometimes he leaves blood,
In my mouth.
But he's a rainbow,
When I miss him.
And how can my compass point north when everything goes south?

So I try to be patient
When I'm filled up with rain-
bows and knives;
Where doubt archives.
I've lived nine too many lives.

He's a rainbow,
When he comes,
To me with all the energy,
of the sun.
And I'm a rainbow,
When he comes.
Isn't this what all the elements looked like when they were still one?

And if we are a storm cloud,
You're the air where I hang,
At the very height,
Of human sight;
Just reflecting your light.

I'm just reflecting your light.

Conjecturing on Saturn...

Zodiac Secret No. 4

Avoid the Shadows of Saturn

A shadow is created when an object stands between you and the light. Another person can stand as a shadow in your life, block out your spirit, and prevent you from getting what you want. Here's how you can recognize such a person.

Once you print out the chart, look for the position of his Saturn. If his Saturn is found in the sign of Scorpio, you have a problem. This will not be a zodiac love match.
Why?
Remember, that just for the sake of this exercise, we decided that you had your Sun in Scorpio. This man's Saturn is in the same sign as your Sun. This is the problem. You will feel like this man is a shadow hanging over your spirit. You will always feel dark and heavy around him. This would be quite depressing. Why?
Because Saturn is a restrictive and inhibiting force. It represents the basic fear in all of us -- what we don't want to look at --- what we avoid and suppress. This is because Saturn is ofen called a planet of karma because it represents fears that we need to confront and eventually resolve in understanding.
The light of your Sun in Scorpio, your ego and individual spirit, shines upon what the Saturn man does not want to look at. Therefore, he will try to suppress and criticize you . He does not want you to do what you like to do. You like expressing your deep emotional intensity and sexuality with your lover and he is afraid of real intimacy. He has a need to control you and suppress your need for intense emotional connections with others because of his deep fear of exposure, which is very necessary for true intimacy.
In short, you will not be able to be free with him. You cannot be who you are with him. He will not be able to share in this need of yours. In fact, he will criticize you for it because it arouses his own fear.
The lesson that you must learn from this secret is:
"Make sure his Saturn is not in the same sign as your Sun and that your Saturn is not in the same sign as his Sun."

http://www.skysage.com/zodiacsecrets.html

Oddly enough, the "heaviness" described above perfectly explains how I felt about most of the major relationships I've had.  Most recently, I met someone I became suddenly very attached too and immediately had this rush of dread which I couldn't explain in any other way than simply I'd felt it before and I could lay out the progression of my entire future relationship with this person after having spent 3 days with him.

I decided to see how many of those relationships shadowed my Scorpio Sun with an opposing Scorpio Saturn. The results were very interesting...

Charts of the 3 most significant others/important/influential relationships I've had in my 28.5 years. Note the Saturn placements:

Birth summary for Lexi :

Planet	Deg	Sign	Min
Sun	19º	Scorpio	53'
Moon	26º	Taurus	01'
Mercury	4º	Scorpio	08'
Venus	6º	Capricorn	58'
Mars	12º	Virgo	41'
Jupiter	27º	Libra	01'
Saturn	17º	Libra	15'
Uranus	29º	Scorpio	45'
Neptune	23º	Sagittarius	21'
Pluto	25º	Libra	17'
Ascendant	6º	Libra	30'
Midheaven	7º	Cancer	09'

This is my INT/FJ who has had me torn up for 6 months now. Like many past others, we have a cyclical relationship where I can't imagine finding someone I could love anymore (thus I am blinded to all others), he "NEEDS" me as a friend (i.e. needs me on a string) and guilt trips and criticizes me for things I know to be true for myself. Like all good Libras, he thinks things to be "objectively true" or false while I KNOW that there is nothing "objectively true" in the world. Best quote - "Prom Night is an objectively bad movie." If we agree, the objective truths are fine. If we disagree, such as in the case of emotions and relationships, it's very not fine. Check out his Saturn placement! And then, if you dare, check out my Saturn placement again.

Birth summary for Brian:

Planet	Deg	Sign	Min
Sun	20º	Libra	55'
Moon	2º	Aquarius	04'
Mercury	9º	Libra	48'
Venus	6º	Virgo	20'
Mars	9º	Virgo	10'
Jupiter	9º	Sagittarius	04'
Saturn	5º	Scorpio	17'
Uranus	6º	Sagittarius	37'
Neptune	26º	Sagittarius	50'
Pluto	29º	Libra	08'
Ascendant	14º	Aquarius	57'
Midheaven	2º	Sagittarius	51'

Rather than describing my sporadic multi-year involvement with this one, who I loved possibly harder than I've loved anyone in my life but who was the most distant of all the important ones, and again who would not allow me the title of "girlfriend." Ever. I will just copy/paste an email to me from said lover for the nebula to devour:


< CHRIST, people have been breaking my balls lately. Here's the plan:  I
was writing this huge letter regarding myself and this alleged immaturity
that everyone sees, but instead I'm going to request that you CUT OUT THE
EMO QUEERSHIT and SHOVE IT UP YER ASS!

Okay, well, I guess I am selfish.  I at least know I'm self-centered, but I
don't trust anyone who isn't at least a little self-centered.  As for this
whole distance thing you needed back in the day, yeah I can see that as
immature and selfish.  However, you must understand I'm not used to being
the object of someone's affection-- EVER.  I'm ugly and awkward, so it was a
new experience, you must forgive me if I didn't handle it delicately.  At
the time I was amazed by your friendship and it was really helping me
through  bad times and bla bla bla.  You know, I woke up this morning and my
fucking eye was killing me.  It just hurts, like it's been scratched, and
nothing helps.  So I'm fucking pissed off and annoyed right now, I'm going
to get off here and go smoke, call it immature but I'm leaving this email
mostly unanswered because I can only type with one hand and I feel horrible.
TO sum things up, I don't care if I'm immature or not.  Ne ne ne ne.

-Jeff
 >>

Birth summary for Jeff :
Planet     Deg     Sign     Min
Sun       21º       Capricorn       57'
Mercury  0º       Capricorn       35'
Venus       8º       Pisces       41'
Mars       13º       Pisces       41'  
Jupiter       24º       Capricorn       05'
Saturn       25º       Scorpio       44'
Uranus       15º       Sagittarius       59'
Neptune  1º       Capricorn       54'
Pluto       4º       Scorpio       34'

This was my longest boyfriend of 4-ish years full of interims where I unsuccessfully severed the relationship only to have him pull the "friend" guilt trip on me, a guise to keep me under his jealous watch, but more importantly to keep me from finding someone that could actually make me happy. The biggest, cruelest critic of my personality, life choices, aesthetics, sense of humor and every other facet of my being that defines me as an individual. Note, in this case, my Saturn placement and the fact that its the same as his. But additionally his own Saturn placement shadows him from seeing his Sun in the same time. He is a very self-defeatist person. He tends to take it out on others, but he quite often takes it out on himself too. Let me follow up that between this subtly abusive relationship of 4 years and the physically abusive whirlwind relationship that suddenly followed (even drove the last wedge into whatever thing we were trying to salvage between us after 4 years) it took me 4 years to feel like "myself" again, and it took 8 years apart to feel like the relationship was not still impeding my abilities to move forward with my life.

Birth summary for Greg :

Planet	Deg	Sign	Min
Sun	23º	Libra	00'
Moon	11º	Capricorn	45'
Mercury	17º	Scorpio	18'
Venus	13º	Virgo	05'
Mars	2º	Sagittarius	50'
Jupiter	27º	Virgo	45'
Saturn	3º	Libra	02'
Uranus	23º	Scorpio	54'
Neptune	20º	Sagittarius	27'
Pluto	21º	Libra	45'
Ascendant	0º	Leo	28'
Midheaven	16º	Aries	15'

And just for fun, charts from some more notable blasts from my past:



This one was married and yes, it got ugly. And yes, I tried to avoid it before it happened and yes, I was ashamed the whole time. And yes, he lied to me among others. A lot. And yes it was A) virtually impossible to avoid because we worked together - every day, and often alone and B) virtually impossible because he was an Aries and didn't listen to a practical thing I said. I had to quit my job to end the unhealthy cycle here.

Birth summary for Jeromy :

Planet	Deg	Sign	Min
Sun	2º	Aries	04'
Moon	22º	Pisces	33'
Mercury	4º	Pisces	19'
Venus	16º	Aquarius	17'
Mars	13º	Gemini	24'
Jupiter	3º	Pisces	22'
Saturn	28º	Gemini	17'
Uranus	26º	Libra	44'
Neptune	9º	Sagittarius	35'
Pluto	5º	Libra	34'
Ascendant	21º	Libra	38'
Midheaven	27º	Cancer	02'

Let's observe one that seemed pretty mutually stimulating emotionally and intellectually. Physically not too bad either. Practically, he had a kid and never moved out of his mom's house. Complacent and lazy, there was little I could do light a fire under this one. This was a case of me doing the same thing to him that was done to me by others - I wouldn't call him my boyfriend but we had a relationship. Mainly this was because he tried to date me and another girl at the onset of both of those relationships, both girls were hurt by this and though I forgave the injury eventually, I never trusted him and I was unwilling to commit to someone with so little ambition who had already made such a dramatic mark in the first week of to title or not to title... basically I was waiting for a justification and felt I deserved better anyway.

Birth Chart for Noah:

Planet	Deg	Sign	Min
Sun	22º	Cancer	48'
Moon	6º	Libra	45'
Mercury	29º	Cancer	59'
Venus	3º	Virgo	33'
Mars	11º	Cancer	06'
Jupiter	1º	Sagittarius	21'
Saturn	27º	Libra	54'
Uranus	5º	Sagittarius	26'
Neptune	27º	Sagittarius	11'
Pluto	26º	Libra	44'
Ascendant	24º	Scorpio	34'
Midheaven	6º	Virgo	06'

This is the chart of the first actual "boyfriend" I had since Greg. That is to say, he was proud to introduce me to people as his "girlfriend," he possessed me, and made it clear to me and to others that we were together. However, we had little in common and note he is another self-defeater. Also, he is the kind who tries to bring down those he sees who are successful, and if he can't, he resents or dislikes them for their success. Note again the Saturn and Sun placement.

Birth summary for Nathaniel :

Planet	Deg	Sign	Min
Sun	10º	Virgo	17'
Moon	15º	Virgo	33'
Mercury	22º	Leo	24'
Venus	26º	Libra	16'
Mars	18º	Libra	56'
Jupiter	29º	Cancer	34'
Saturn	4º	Virgo	48'
Uranus	13º	Scorpio	08'
Neptune	15º	Sagittarius	33'
Pluto	15º	Libra	13'
Ascendant	24º	Taurus	45'
Midheaven	4º	Aquarius	22'

This one again, good friend dynamic, plenty to talk about, philosophical minds compatible. Practical issues, like oh having a job, not wasting money borrowed from others on drugs, not living with his parents, and self-reliance in any capacity or other such things I value, not so hot. Musically inclined and a gentle, kind soul however. Again, note the Saturn placement.

Birth summary for Matt :

Planet	Deg	Sign	Min
Sun	5º	Aquarius	39'
Moon	27º	Pisces	56'
Mercury	19º	Capricorn	43'
Venus	22º	Pisces	38'
Mars	23º	Pisces	55'
Jupiter	27º	Capricorn	14'
Saturn	26º	Scorpio	44'
Uranus	16º	Sagittarius	39'
Neptune	2º	Capricorn	22'
Pluto	4º	Scorpio	43'
Ascendant	12º	Aries	00'
Midheaven	6º	Capricorn	48'

Progress Report 2: Church Window

Got the sawdust vacuumed up, the window exterior blacked and the back of the thing all framed up. It's not the sturdiest thing is the world but it's made 2 trips in my hatchback now without breaking. The unfortunate thing is that I have to stick my head up between one of the openings in the wood too see while I drive, so if I get in a wreck, I will be decapitated... so it goes. Here is what I worked on last night. First the design plan in black and white. 

The central figure. 

And the 4 encircling figures on the top, 

the left, 

the bottom,

and the right. 

I'm not making good time, but I like what it looks like so far and I'm really proud of what a stellar job I think I'm doing. Delusional. Maybe... that's how I live.

Progress Report - Church Window

My landlady is going to kill me!

I didn't have a jigsaw but I do have a reciprocating saw, and I cut this whole thing out of 1/4 lauan with a reciprocating saw. I couldn't get it timed right either so I could use the projector to cast the image to cut, and I actually had to do the geometry instead. Gag. But here is where I am on my church window.

I included this angle for scale. The window is a 7'0" circle meant to mimic the Rose Window from Notre Dame or other such gothic/romanesque churches.

Artist's Statement to come...

The Mehrya Rug

This is my design for a rug I'm making in my Collaborative Projects class with a student named Mehrya, whose family came here from Afghanistan. The eye shapes are a natural geometric intersection of the style of design I pulled from actual afghan rug art, but are meant to represent the fear of her family as they struggled through the explosions and carnage and war which compelled their dramatic escape. The bone shapes also speak to the fatal path of their journey. Although Mehrya was not born yet, her family's struggle to care for siblings and eventually bring her into the world is firmly planted in her self-identity. However, Mehrya herself is a sunny and bright person, a beacon I can only imagine to her family - someone who makes them happy and strong in her warmth. I have represented her in the center of the rug with the radiating beams, and a smaller version of the eye pattern, which is round and more human and insists on looking not to the fearful events of the past but to the human possibilities of the future.

Kloeshi ei Kosta - Work in Progress

 

This is just the beginning. 

This is the bottom.

The middle.

 

Some detail.

The top.

And for scale reference, the skeleton marionette will be a little taller than me.

Medieval Macabre and Font Research

I was trying to concentrate only on church arcade sculptural imagery from the Romanesque Period which depicts scenes of hell and the torture of humans who lead an "immoral" or impious life. This imagery was a prime instructional tool of the medieval period to lead people away from paganism and oddly enough away from the fanciful mythology of the Roman and Greek culture.

I found quite a bit of Medieval imagery, but not specifically from the Romanesque arcades. I'm looking for that high contrast stone work just jam packed with people getting tortured. I'm going to draw a small set. I'm mountiing it on foamcore and driving my new HDSLR (fingers crossed I get it tomorrow after I get paid...) through the scenery for the opening shot of the short film I previously mentioned working on, which is tentatively called Lisolette and Gregory.

I am also looking at text from Medieval manuscripts and attempting to create writing in the visual aspects of this work which looks as if it says something but the characters will not actually mean anything. I'm very interested in the use of written and verbal language in art, as language is both beautiful and practical for communication but highly inefficient in some aspects. Language, while noble in its attempt, can never describe certain personal experiences. This is a thought I've mulled over lately which was inspired by recent discussions about Buddhism.

I will continue paring down the visual research until I find the exact period I'm looking for, and the imagery I know exists... I remember from art history, eight years ago. Surely I remember correctly...

Pictures of The Floating World

Works of Kitagawa Utamaro:

Works of Katsushika Hokusai:

 

 

Objectless

Shunga, or "spring" art, initially held lower class popular appeal in 7th and 8th century Japanese culture until it became suddenly fashionable in 19th century Europe and imported massively by Dutch merchants. Namely, Kitagawa Utamaro's ukiyo-e, or "pictures of the floating world," were in high demand. With a delicate eroticism and a sense of melancholy, his works rendered the inherent sadness in a life of pleasure seeking and the act of love.

For me there was a spirituality to the muted ethereal quality of these pillow book illuminations. There was a sweetness and uncharacteristic sense of permanence to these renderings of the sex act. In Objectless, I borrowed from the naturalistic interiors and landscapes of Japanese imagery for the three inked illuminations. In each depiction, however, the male identity is either obscured by flora or intentionally draped in concealment by the female figure.

The fish were a personal symbol for sexuality as I find their wide, lifeless eyes and chaotic movement seductive and terrifying. There is no doubt a mystifying allure to the appearance of the fish.  A classic symbol of miracle, providence and magic, for me the fish is both beautiful and hideous. Spewing forth from the inguen of the erotically posed female nude beneath, the arched bodies of the koi-like vertebrates are both fluid and spastic where they are caught in motion, either swimming the depths in harmony with their watery nature, or squirming, panicked and purged from their safe place. They mimic the meaningless gestural language connecting the pieces of the illuminated story.

Both submissive and aggressive, sprung on her knees, the figure beneath the romantic illuminations is consumed in her half-formed fantasies and objectless desire, isolated beneath a soft translucent fabric sheet, her saddened identity, still as yet, half-formed.

Pillow Book Illuminations I

I chose not to render the other person in the sex act since the work is about wanting an object, and not having one. I am looking at a lot of Shunga specifically and intend to finish 3 more little square illuminations such as this one to attach to the larger work with the fish. 

 I think fish are a wonderful symbol for sexuality because they are free, fluid, frightening, beautiful, and squirmy when you take them out of their safe place. The following picture is a bit disturbing and funny, but I think I'm not the only person who is getting the sexy fish vibe going on. As for the picture, here is where it came from.