I met someone recently who turned my world upside down turned my thoughts from the mystics' astrology to the pseudoscientists' Myers Briggs Test
I won't fight him, but there's no reason an INTJ and an ENFJ who, as he said, "connect on every single level" can not be together.
So the INTJ, idealist, analytical planner, thinker, charter of the course - the sex lives in his mind, where it can remain perfect as he has fashioned it while meanwhile, the ENFJ, passionate and fixated on him, researches feverishly for some way to please him or just plain turn him on. She's floored by the fearlessness with which she throws her body and heart at him as he passively and hesitantly half-asses a cold acceptance. So many more times has she been he in his position, flattered by another party's desire, yet almost totally disinterested. Turning the mirror to her she is simply all the more zealous and ardent. Matched in intellect, aesthetics, ambition and humor, she can do nothing but feel inspired, energized, and dejected at the realization that he can see her the same way and still just shrug.
He is not apathetic. He is not melancholic, he is not even attached to the thought of someone else.
He just says it wouldn't work.
In response I am exploring sex in my drawing projects this semester.
HA. Turns out I'm actually an E/INFJ. An introvert who has learned to function well as an extrovert. I live in my head as much as him.
ReplyDeleteGah, in update, he doesn't like my personality the way it is and tends to insinuate I ought to change my very being to be "better." It has gotten greatly under my skin for the past 4 months since he is the first person whose opinions and thoughts actually affect mine.
In love now, but cutting off the poisonous presence in favor of finding something healthy one day. Why do we only fall in love with poisons. Surely I could love someone healthy who would love me back?
I've made great work this semester in my celibacy. Thank you, my INTJ for all the libidal energy you've given me and I've had to cathect into making art things. I still love you. I'm working on that.
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